Welcome Guest
[ Log In :: Register ]

Pages: (3) < [1] 2 3 >
Topic: The Scrolls of Unmaking..., ...bits and pieces...
dnekm
the Grand Wazoo


Posts: 2475
Joined: Aug. 2002
Posted: Feb. 14 2003,3:26 am

Sorry I haven't been around much lately. Thought I'd make up for it by posting what follows....  :hippy:

(That being the first mini-rant of the first scroll)

Enjoy  :banghead:

--------------
Ron Wood

Mystifies Me

Profile PM WEB 
dnekm
the Grand Wazoo


Posts: 2475
Joined: Aug. 2002
Posted: Feb. 14 2003,3:27 am

Introduction

These little rants came about from me reflecting upon various conversations and experiences I've had with "magickal" people, and with "magick" in general. You see, I started out just feeling. Then I sought a way to rationalise my feelings, and my experiences, to myself. So, having come through the "ceremonial" approach, I'm now back to just feeling again. Older, wiser (?) and a lot more sarcastical, but essentially the same as when I began. A "goddamn hippie tree hugger" - yes, but a pompous, egotistical son-of-a-bitch? - no.
Lady, since you made the sky drop down upon me and showed yourself, you are all I have ever sought. How could it ever have been otherwise? I sought long and hard to find that which I already knew and already was. And so I write as myself, not praises unto the beauty of night, not songs ever drifting upon the winds nor haunting paeans unto infinity. Just words, from the heart, unto other people. And me being a part of you, you shine through - open to all.

Fiat Nox.

Kozmik Koffe-Klatching
(or: You, Too, Can be Mundane & Magickal)

What drives people to join an "order", "society", etc. - mystical, magickal or otherwise? Let's see.
1) Companionship (getting laid). The "nobody is as weird as me" syndrome, resulting in the complementary paradox - "I must find others like me so's I can get me some.". Typical of "post-adolescent teen-angst syndrome". (note: there is no age limit on this one. "post-adolescent" means anything beyond adolescence.) This seems to run rampant with young-un's. Young, in this sense, does not necessarily reflect physical years. However, all souls are ageless. So "young" would be in reference to, what? ... a certain maturity? Perhaps. Some view "getting laid" as the sharing of one's self with another, some view it as the surest way of staying alone. If people could figure out, by now, what to do with other people - well, then, the world would certainly be less populated - wouldn't it? Perhaps "half-souls" wouldn't even exist. (Alas, even infinity can only be stretched so far.)

2) Companionship (I don't want to be/die/live alone). Everyone wants to be unique, but not alone. Simple, is it not? Life itself is, by definition, a social critter. Life reinforces itself. So, too, do we seek out social reinforcement of everything - from personal tastes to our utmost, innermost beliefs. It is a rare soul indeed who can shout out to the world - "This is me and fuck you all" for any prolonged period of time. These are people who play outside the rules and are "dangerous". Yet we all think, deep inside, that we do this. Meanwhile, in our daily lives - we conform, conform, conform. And those who don't become "leaders" on down the road, the very things they despise. Mankind is essentially stupid and lazy. Rebels with marching orders, we turn one person's statement of a perceived truth into a "fad", "movement", "religion", or some other nonsense - thereby de-valuing something which began as priceless. If a perceived truth is within one, it will burn as a flame. A flame that does not need the company of other flames to embolden it, for all flames are one, all burn - and in that burning create the infinite panorama of existence - the beautiful peacock feathers which fan the face of god while it thinks "what a pretty little creation. I can almost, sometimes, believe that it's looking at me."

3) Companionship ("the truth is out there"). Some turn "paddlin' with the occult" into a quest for company on a different level. Perhaps they have felt the perceived truth within them stir and seek for a way to explain it to themselves. These join "orders", etc.. out of desperation, and quickly become disillusioned. (Due to the aforementioned two reasons.) Nothing needs to be said of these, except to wish them all the luck in the world. The truth is "out there", and "in here" and all around you.

4) Companionship (the master/slave relationship). I am reminded of a quote - "Those who seek power are least suited to wield it." Very true. In an "order", or any social situation, there is a hierarchy, whether spoken or unspoken. This "power" (so-called) is illusionary. It is dependent upon others perceiving, and following the rules of, the pecking order. No one wants to conjure a "demon" they cannot control, nor does one want to associate with those who successfully "buck the System" (except to figure out how they, too, can do it and get away with it. Then they want "followers", otherwise - what's the good of being "outside" of things?). Why climb to the top of the heap to only find out it's a heap of shit unless you can make someone else's life miserable in the process? People who want power have none, or at least feel that way. Why? Because they misunderstand power. Everyone has the ultimate power - to affect one's self, and- due to man's inherent social nature, those around you. Yet that is the last thing "seekers after power" want. They want to change everything around them but themselves. This is not possible, and has been the downfall of all who seek power for these reasons. Some think they can gain power by "believing" in nothing, but themselves. By "themselves" they mean the limited self which they use to get by on earth. To encase one's self within the bricks of personality and reside in a personal "fairyland" is everyone's right, and yes, you can live a long life that way. Amazing, isn't it? You can actually live to a ripe old age without ever having ventured out into the world surrounding you! (Advertising slogan for yuppie scum everywhere.) The real world is dirty, messy & painful - why bother? Why not fall back on some virtual reality where you, too, can be "lord high ultimate whatsisname" without ever having to deal with people face to face? Ain't life grand. Surround yourself with images & such of power and your wish is granted. "Build it, and they will come." Sure, fine. But make sure the content there actually exists - through real, direct experience. Otherwise what's really out there might notice. If you're laughable & petty enough, you'll be ignored - and allowed to live your life. If not, well - get ready for an education. And the wall will come tumbling down. A beggar with his rags is not a pretty sight, but an honest one. A beggar dressed in finery a simple illusion, easily enough seen through. A beggar without his rags - such a rare sight as to be marvellous, and commendable. It is probably the one honest person on earth. And as beautiful as a sunset, or a twilight filled with birdsong, or the look of genuine love on the face of another, or a whole infinite, myriad host of little epiphanies we pass by every day, every moment - yet are too caught up in the web of veils we wear to notice.

And so, weeping, the laughing god creates another spark of inspiration within the soul of  someone who is receptive, to see what travesty will result. Occasionally laughing, the weeping god will rejoice at another spark finding a home within the impossibly infinite receptivity with which it surrounds itself.

And so, multitudes join in the social dance of life - each trying to outdo one another.

Somewhere, in between, there is one who neither laughs nor cries, yet the silence of the outpouring of this is perceived as both.

--------------
Ron Wood

Mystifies Me

Profile PM WEB 
TalN
The Puchan Quark


Posts: 1169
Joined: Sep. 2001
Posted: Feb. 14 2003,9:05 am

:smile:  Hmmmmmmm...............
Yes.

Profile PM ICQ AOL 
Lucid Kaos
Soul Reaper


Posts: 265
Joined: Nov. 2001
Posted: Nov. 21 2003,6:08 pm

Yes brother,

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN...that last line really struck a chord in me... :smoke: THE OUTPOURING.....will come back and comment on this I....thanx for this post and this board Daniel..I have yet to post here but every visit here has been a journey to inner doors beyond self for lack of a better term...labels, terms, unimportant anyway...Everything is as it should be...it IS  what it IS..nothing more ..nothing less..thank you..I will be back

--------------
Media vita in morte sumus - In the midst of life, we are in Death

Profile PM 
dnekm
the Grand Wazoo


Posts: 2475
Joined: Aug. 2002
Posted: Nov. 22 2003,1:44 am

I'm just glad that people read this section of the board  :eyemouth:

I look forward to your comments. Want to see chapter 2?

--------------
Ron Wood

Mystifies Me

Profile PM WEB 
unchained spirit
Azraelite


Posts: 381
Joined: Sep. 2003
Posted: Nov. 22 2003,9:30 am

I have to own up that I'm a "truth is out there" type.  I study much, do what I can to contribute thoughts and ideas, but join never.  
I'm not flighty, I'm thorough enough.  It's just that I can't commit to ideologies, groups, etc.  
I had an easy time staying committed in my marriage, and I'm also straining my commitment bones toward getting my first college degree, but I can't comfortably do more than that.  
The only social situation in which I am comfortable is that of student, teacher, and directed discussion.  
The only treasures I boast are the ones in my head.
People often say I don't have much of a life, but I counter with the statement that I have all the life I need.

--------------
Goethe Chose Mercy

Profile PM WEB 
wraith
Azraelite


Posts: 877
Joined: Feb. 2002
Posted: Nov. 22 2003,9:30 am

Yep, I'd like to read more.  :beer:

--------------
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who only dream by night. -Edgar Allan Poe-

Profile PM 
dnekm
the Grand Wazoo


Posts: 2475
Joined: Aug. 2002
Posted: Nov. 23 2003,1:41 am

Here is the next bit. Remember, when I wrote these I was recovering from "the pastrami incident" and was particularly sarcastic and raw....  :cussing:

The Ego Cafe
(or: The Nature of Duality)

Step up, look into the mirror - what do you see? The person, who primps and preens in front of it, wondering how they look? Or, do you have eyes which look beyond, eyes which truly see?

Ego is a tool. It's what develops as a process of learning, when we are young - how to deal with the world. Numerous books have been written by numerous people explicating numerous ways in which we interact with the world and why each one of these is "wrong", or "bad". Everyone is right, in their own heads. That is the ultimate beauty of the ego, or "personality" - you can never be wrong. You are always "lord high supreme whatsisname" and everyone else is lower than you, not worth your effort or time or attention. Except when you want something.

This is all fine & well, as far as it goes - if you understand that Life itself is a mutual undertaking - you are "down here" with an infinitude of souls, all in the same predicament - wanting to go back home. But what if you can't see home? What if you can't even conceive of it? Well, that's simple - pop on in to the Ego Cafe and become the resident poet, or grouch, or senile old fart, or whatever. Treat other people like dirt, what the hell do you care? You're the only one that matters. You are so special that you must go on forever, quirks and all, because the universe needs someone with just your specific qualities, likes & dislikes. (As if! Like, the universe doesn't like chunky peanut butter? Oh, gross! Gag me with a fucking valley girl.) Like the universe fucking cares. To dwell within ego is to live within the baby's crib, never setting forth upon the grand adventure you're down here to realise. Never, as a dear friend of mine puts it, to "stop searching for the tit". All milk sours, in the end. Sucking at it past it's prime results in major gastronomic problems, of which diarrhea is the least. It is the "runs of the soul" which lead to so many "religions", "orders", etc....

Duality is just that, separation. You are twain, cloven.... separated from that which you also are. You are everything, residing in a limited thing, which is nothing. It's not that difficult to grasp - go out, open yourself up - and feel! Simple, yet complex. Taking on responsibility for your own life does not mean you are responsible for the whole great shebang of it all - i.e. Life, the Universe, and Everything - just your own small part of it. To deny this, and I'm really tempted to agree with Freud on this, is the result of poor toilet training. You've never cleaned up your own messes, why start now? Blame it on your folks (whether physical or spiritual - someone didn't wipe your ass to your satisfaction).

Duality is the longing to be rejoined, reunited.... Duality is Love, in its utmost expression. Duality is torment, but a torment so deliciously exquisite that you wouldn't trade it for anything. Ever knowing, ever wanting, ever touching, ever remembering - yet never achieving 100% full union for more than a fraction of infinity. But knowing what it would be like to be that way always.

Does it drive one mad? Yes.

If you live in a box, in the dark - you'll never know the beauty of existing.

"God does not play dice with the Universe." - Albert einstein.
"But the Universe does play dice with God." - daniel Kemp.


With Love, all things become possible. Sometimes, even certain.

:hippy:

--------------
Ron Wood

Mystifies Me

Profile PM WEB 
wraith
Azraelite


Posts: 877
Joined: Feb. 2002
Posted: Nov. 23 2003,10:31 am

Intriguing.....

"Duality is the longing to be rejoined, reunited.... Duality is Love, in its utmost expression. Duality is torment, but a torment so deliciously exquisite that you wouldn't trade it for anything. Ever knowing, ever wanting, ever touching, ever remembering - yet never achieving 100% full union for more than a fraction of infinity. But knowing what it would be like to be that way always."

 This sums up beautifully what I have felt for almost as long as I can remember. A lifetime of it has taken me through many different phases, from years of an almost hermit-like existence while reading and exploring and remembering, when I also shut myself off from others as you describe, to being much more open, interacting with people and finding beauty and joy in the smallest things around me. One of my favorite things to do while out walking during the day is quite simple, but extremely pleasant and satisfying, and always amazes me.
I simply look at everything I pass by, trees, brush, rock, dead leaves, fences....and imagine how each feels to the touch. I find I know and remember the exact nuances of each. It may seem a worthless exercise, but is gratifying and joyful, and opens my mind to more positive thought. I'm also more receptive to people and things around me after this.
   Sorry I've strayed a bit, as I often do. Your insights always stir many emotions and memories, and jumpstart my brain. I'd love to read more....
:beer:

--------------
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who only dream by night. -Edgar Allan Poe-

Profile PM 
dnekm
the Grand Wazoo


Posts: 2475
Joined: Aug. 2002
Posted: Nov. 26 2003,2:19 am

One of the things about duality that has shifted for me over the years is that I no longer view it as.... how to phrase this... "That which must be resolved immediately..."

I guess that is the best way to put it.

For the longest time I knew of it and just wanted out - to go home. Call it... impatience.

But as time has passed and I am still here I am not only thankful that I am still here and sharing the company of those around me, but am also glad that in whatever way, throughout my life, I have ever touched or had an effect upon anyone that I lasted long enough to do so.

For all interactions bring about change, however slight. And who knows what the next interaction may bring?

:hippy:

It still amazes me sometimes the depth of the beauty we can, at times extract from nature. I guess with me it comes down to moments, frozen in time.

I can still vividly recall certain moments - an afternoon by a waterfall in Connecticut, an evening by a lake in the same place, sunrise and sunset in Jamaica and St. Maarten, quiet times beneath a huge pine tree in my backyard in NY and a single morning listening to the birds in the trees in St. Francisville, LA. And many other times and places - each of which returns to me a feeling of, for lack of better words - peace.

I guess, upon reflection through hindsight, that all of our past moments are such things frozen in time - although each with different feelings, remembrances and depth of emotion. But sometimes we can access the whole picture of those frozen moments, even down to the pre-storm smells in the air as we watched the clouds scudding across the moonlit sky before the rains came....

Memory, when it is not being a bitch, can be our greatest asset...  :color:

--------------
Ron Wood

Mystifies Me

Profile PM WEB 

[ Email this topic :: Print this topic ]

Pages: (3) < [1] 2 3 >