the Grand Wazoo
Joined: Aug. 2002
|Posted: Feb. 14 2003,3:27 am
These little rants came about from me reflecting upon various conversations and experiences I've had with "magickal" people, and with "magick" in general. You see, I started out just feeling. Then I sought a way to rationalise my feelings, and my experiences, to myself. So, having come through the "ceremonial" approach, I'm now back to just feeling again. Older, wiser (?) and a lot more sarcastical, but essentially the same as when I began. A "goddamn hippie tree hugger" - yes, but a pompous, egotistical son-of-a-bitch? - no.
Lady, since you made the sky drop down upon me and showed yourself, you are all I have ever sought. How could it ever have been otherwise? I sought long and hard to find that which I already knew and already was. And so I write as myself, not praises unto the beauty of night, not songs ever drifting upon the winds nor haunting paeans unto infinity. Just words, from the heart, unto other people. And me being a part of you, you shine through - open to all.
(or: You, Too, Can be Mundane & Magickal)
What drives people to join an "order", "society", etc. - mystical, magickal or otherwise? Let's see.
1) Companionship (getting laid). The "nobody is as weird as me" syndrome, resulting in the complementary paradox - "I must find others like me so's I can get me some.". Typical of "post-adolescent teen-angst syndrome". (note: there is no age limit on this one. "post-adolescent" means anything beyond adolescence.) This seems to run rampant with young-un's. Young, in this sense, does not necessarily reflect physical years. However, all souls are ageless. So "young" would be in reference to, what? ... a certain maturity? Perhaps. Some view "getting laid" as the sharing of one's self with another, some view it as the surest way of staying alone. If people could figure out, by now, what to do with other people - well, then, the world would certainly be less populated - wouldn't it? Perhaps "half-souls" wouldn't even exist. (Alas, even infinity can only be stretched so far.)
2) Companionship (I don't want to be/die/live alone). Everyone wants to be unique, but not alone. Simple, is it not? Life itself is, by definition, a social critter. Life reinforces itself. So, too, do we seek out social reinforcement of everything - from personal tastes to our utmost, innermost beliefs. It is a rare soul indeed who can shout out to the world - "This is me and fuck you all" for any prolonged period of time. These are people who play outside the rules and are "dangerous". Yet we all think, deep inside, that we do this. Meanwhile, in our daily lives - we conform, conform, conform. And those who don't become "leaders" on down the road, the very things they despise. Mankind is essentially stupid and lazy. Rebels with marching orders, we turn one person's statement of a perceived truth into a "fad", "movement", "religion", or some other nonsense - thereby de-valuing something which began as priceless. If a perceived truth is within one, it will burn as a flame. A flame that does not need the company of other flames to embolden it, for all flames are one, all burn - and in that burning create the infinite panorama of existence - the beautiful peacock feathers which fan the face of god while it thinks "what a pretty little creation. I can almost, sometimes, believe that it's looking at me."
3) Companionship ("the truth is out there"). Some turn "paddlin' with the occult" into a quest for company on a different level. Perhaps they have felt the perceived truth within them stir and seek for a way to explain it to themselves. These join "orders", etc.. out of desperation, and quickly become disillusioned. (Due to the aforementioned two reasons.) Nothing needs to be said of these, except to wish them all the luck in the world. The truth is "out there", and "in here" and all around you.
4) Companionship (the master/slave relationship). I am reminded of a quote - "Those who seek power are least suited to wield it." Very true. In an "order", or any social situation, there is a hierarchy, whether spoken or unspoken. This "power" (so-called) is illusionary. It is dependent upon others perceiving, and following the rules of, the pecking order. No one wants to conjure a "demon" they cannot control, nor does one want to associate with those who successfully "buck the System" (except to figure out how they, too, can do it and get away with it. Then they want "followers", otherwise - what's the good of being "outside" of things?). Why climb to the top of the heap to only find out it's a heap of shit unless you can make someone else's life miserable in the process? People who want power have none, or at least feel that way. Why? Because they misunderstand power. Everyone has the ultimate power - to affect one's self, and- due to man's inherent social nature, those around you. Yet that is the last thing "seekers after power" want. They want to change everything around them but themselves. This is not possible, and has been the downfall of all who seek power for these reasons. Some think they can gain power by "believing" in nothing, but themselves. By "themselves" they mean the limited self which they use to get by on earth. To encase one's self within the bricks of personality and reside in a personal "fairyland" is everyone's right, and yes, you can live a long life that way. Amazing, isn't it? You can actually live to a ripe old age without ever having ventured out into the world surrounding you! (Advertising slogan for yuppie scum everywhere.) The real world is dirty, messy & painful - why bother? Why not fall back on some virtual reality where you, too, can be "lord high ultimate whatsisname" without ever having to deal with people face to face? Ain't life grand. Surround yourself with images & such of power and your wish is granted. "Build it, and they will come." Sure, fine. But make sure the content there actually exists - through real, direct experience. Otherwise what's really out there might notice. If you're laughable & petty enough, you'll be ignored - and allowed to live your life. If not, well - get ready for an education. And the wall will come tumbling down. A beggar with his rags is not a pretty sight, but an honest one. A beggar dressed in finery a simple illusion, easily enough seen through. A beggar without his rags - such a rare sight as to be marvellous, and commendable. It is probably the one honest person on earth. And as beautiful as a sunset, or a twilight filled with birdsong, or the look of genuine love on the face of another, or a whole infinite, myriad host of little epiphanies we pass by every day, every moment - yet are too caught up in the web of veils we wear to notice.
And so, weeping, the laughing god creates another spark of inspiration within the soul of someone who is receptive, to see what travesty will result. Occasionally laughing, the weeping god will rejoice at another spark finding a home within the impossibly infinite receptivity with which it surrounds itself.
And so, multitudes join in the social dance of life - each trying to outdo one another.
Somewhere, in between, there is one who neither laughs nor cries, yet the silence of the outpouring of this is perceived as both.