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Topic: My Personal Experiences With Death Energy
Morgan
Owned by Donn & Than


Posts: 9123
Joined: May 2004
Posted: May 22 2013,3:51 pm

Good.  And when she's ready for it, if there's an internet or a world left, math.com is way better than what any bloody teacher can do.  Well, for concrete formulas, anyway.  I have yet to have someone explain the concept of how you do geometric proofs to me so I can understand them, not that I'm looking.  Not to mention you KNOW they don't teach REAL history in school, amongst  million other things.

All schools are is indoctrination centres of for the sheeple.  How to be a good obedient consumer slave who never asks questions.

Edited by Morgan on May 22 2013,6:41 pm

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NAMASTE, AND MY VASUKI LICK YOUR NOSE!

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: May 29 2013,12:22 pm

That's exactly it! Teaching them to become good obedient consumers that ask no questions. It's sickening but true in my opinion. It's like to shaping a society by brainwashing them into obedience. Over my dead body and then some! I have been fortunate to have such smart kids, particularly Morgan. She blows me away. Hunter is smart I don't want to cut him short since he has great strengths in science and math but Morgan has managed an ADV (advanced) in every subject this entire year in school and they don't challenge her with harder material. We play "games" at home that challenge her vocabulary and that's fun for her. I never want to take the excitement of learning new things from them. She complained a lot about being bored this whole year. That's something I'm gonna watch closely for sure.

She's been quiet since her experience in the hospital. She has always been a quiet child for the most part, but I can sense she is thinking deeply. The other night I was at the bedroom altar cleaning up and changing the cloth and she said, "I never thought this stuff was real. But now everything seems to have a voice." I didn't get much of a chance to answer and she hasn't said much at all since then. She's so quiet until she busts out with something so deep that it throws me off and makes me think deeply, too. This may sound silly but I never thought anything like this would happen to her. I don't know why since my first experience happened in early childhood. I guess it just came as a shock and I'm still taking it all in. She is 3 years older than I was when I had my first really powerful experience so I don't know why I am shocked and of course excited for her! This has been a rough few weeks.

To top it off I am being occasionally visited by someones fetch. Well I call it a fetch but that word means something else too like the precursor or shadow of someones death. I think some call it a familiar. It's a mature thought form that someone has energy fed her very well and sends out for info or to check up on loved ones or I'm sure for less pure intentions, but not this one. The first time I saw it I wasn't sure I was seeing the world right! I'm not usually caught unawares but wow did she rush in quick! It triggered my shields immediately and it made shivers through my whole body as my shields expanded to encase the whole house. She roughly resembles the little girl from the movie The Ring. I couldn't see a face just a long drape of black hair, bluish/pale skin and a similarly colored shapeless dress or gown. She "asked" if everything was ok. I just said yes and banished her. I'm not fond of being caught off guard. She's been back a total of 3 times. Someone wants to keep an eye on me or just is wondering what is going on. I haven't been very social in the last few weeks. What gets me is how strong this spirit is, thoughtform or no. She's been well taken care of so she was sent by someone who knows what they are doing. That's the impression I get and I think it "belongs" to a man or a less feminine woman. Since that first night she hasn't intruded into the house so I'm sure she means no harm at the moment since I set the boundary and I don't feel anything ominous about her either. She seems to be keeping an eye on me is what it feels like. I'm familiar with most of my friends/family's fetches but not this one. She is new. I've asked around a little to see if someone I know was feeding a new thoughtform or trying it out but none of that fits. She's very mature. I figured this little tidbit didn't fit anywhere else so I just added it here. I'm keeping an eye out but it makes me wonder who is checking on me. That is what I am not sure I like about this situation. I guess we will see. Patience isn't my best virtue and I love a good mystery but I keep wondering who is sending her and why.

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: June 04 2013,1:28 pm

Well I think I know why I am being visited by the girl I mentioned in my last post. I'm really hoping there is a connection since I can't find any other explanation for her occasional presence other than she is being sent to me. Why? No clue yet really just assumptions. I think energy forms take the shape of the most understandable thing to the recipient so it must be an energy form that is coming with a message. I've been blocking her for some time. But she was so heavily here with me when I was so sick (still am kinda but it's gotten better). I have seen a lot of signs and numbers (to name a few) that all point to me being in some sort of danger. Come to find out I am going to have another baby sometime in late December. I think it would be more like January but I don't have a due date yet. Long unnecessary story. My past posts have cemented my awful record with pregnancies. Naturally I am unnerved and confused and kinda scared. What makes it worse is that my energy is totally thrown off during pregnancy and that frustrates me a lot. I don't know what is going to happen through this one (obviously). Having another living soul inside me throws everything out of whack. Readings are confused if not completely useless. Not to mention I am not healthy enough to do this again. I have resolved that I will do what I have always done and be the strong resilient bitch I am. I can feel this little girl so close to me that I wonder if it isn't some sign that this may go badly. I've also got the black spots coming back. They come and go. My husbands' tribe has been doing the energy work around here for a while since I fell "ill". That makes it a little more hard for me to discern what is going on with too many hands in the cookie jar, you know. I'm very good at divination but now with a passenger I can't see the energy patterns as well and my path is obscure. What will be will be. What I was not prepared for was the dreams that have now come in full force every night. I guess it is not for me to know and I will take one day at a time. I want this baby. I'm a mother. I don't know how to be anything else. *He* visited me as well. Out of nowhere I felt dizzy and in a half sleep he walked up to me and looked down on me and nodded. Just an acknowledgement. I searched out Westgate for a reason. Nothing just "happens" in my world. But yet I have this deep calm and peace around me that I haven't felt in so long that I don't remember when it was. Everything will be as it should be and I'm good with that.  :rose:

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: July 02 2013,12:42 pm

Ahhh.... it feels so good to be back on this thread. Things have been quiet for me for the most part. I said to Hades with the crutches. I could be doing worse although I have an ominous lump in a vein the doc said was thrombosis. I'm trying to avoid being hospitalized so I had started to become a couch ornament until I had a visitor. I was resigned to just sit on my couch and watch my belly bump get larger although it killed me inside to know that I was basically giving up to fate and time. I say this because whatever will be will surely be and time passes and so do pregnancies. And so I sat... and sat... and played on facecrack... and sat some more. The other night or so though, I had a strange dream that shook me awake. I was dreaming that I had to give back a book to an old woman because I was not using it. The symbolism there to me was obvious that I am not using what I have and so why have it, right? That didn't sit with me well. So I slowly tried to make my way to the basement where I keep an altar. I made it most of the way down in the dark since I just light the candles when I get there but I thought I should be careful not to fall and since I can't smoke right now I had no lighter on me. Double bummer. So up I went until I felt a hand on my ankle. I about died in my skin! This wasn't physical it more just a knowing. Then I remembered I keep a lighter in the altar drawers and realized I had completely lost my groove. How could I forget that? Not good. Finally I had lit the candles and my mind ran on and on about things I have lost, the things that have died in my life and the things that have changed so completely that it is as if something past had died completely and now something new is in it's place. In front of my minds eye stood a woman that was first old and then she looked young like my daughter and then she looked round and pregnant like me. The Mother hadn't come to me so vividly for a long time but it was the figure of the old woman that stayed by me. The way I actually see/experience these things are hard to explain in words but I spent the remaining hours till dawn reflecting with the Death Crone (She's one of The Morrighan to me) about things that have passed and will never be again and why it should be that way. I learned a lot about myself and how the way I see myself makes me literally into who I am and ultimately what I will be one day. Somethings must die for other things to have room to grow and I see now that I have power over the things that come to pass in my life. More so than I thought anyway. I am only restricting myself because I think I should. Maybe that's not right all the time and I should give myself less limitations so I have more room to grow and maybe do things I might not have thought I would actually do. I came out of that journey a different person. Spontaneous ritual is sometimes very healthy as well. I sat going through some of the books I have written that have my own rituals and recipes to continue to reflect on where I have been to better see where I am now and how it may effect where I will be in the future. For lack of a better term these are my Books of Shadows from years past. My journals from dreams and journeys are in some of these, too. My present one is the only one I keep upstairs to write in since these are full. Sometimes I'm glad I'm a bit long winded and take forever to say a few things. *wink*  I read until I heard panicked walking upstairs and Papa Bear calling for me. Then they were all there, my husband, my kids and I thought to myself, "is this how they think of me? That I cannot go downstairs to my own altar without them panicking that I will hurt myself?" I was le pissed. Apparently it showed since they all went wide eyed at me and it was my husband that broke the intense tension by asking me if I was coming upstairs. None of them said much to me about it. Since then I've tried to put into practice what I learned from the Death Crone and no one has been panicking when I go about my day anymore. Everyone is glad to see me up and about and doing what I normally do and more. No more visits from the little girl in blue, too. The black spots receded but I catch a glimpse now and again. Maybe there's something to that saying that mentions that we create our world around us daily with what we think and believe. I just never took it so literally I suppose.

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Morgan
Owned by Donn & Than


Posts: 9123
Joined: May 2004
Posted: July 02 2013,1:00 pm

I had a dream of Donn last night, and there were a lot of cats in it, and the cats were uber altruistic.  (Actually, cats are very altruistic with their friends in a stress free environment.)  Donn also had an animal with him that doesn't exist here.  It was perhaps the size of a spitz, had slender legs, hooves, but the face looked kind of predatory.  It looked like a cross between a dog and a cat, and it also had a long horn growing from its forehead, and I woke up looking at a drawing of Donn and that strange little unicorn. I can NOT remember for the life or death of me what was said, but I'm under the impression it was pretty good.  I was captivated by his Tuatha beauty.  It's been a while since any psychopomps invaded my dreams to that extent, and I am rather grateful for that welcome invasion of my Etheric existence.

Edited by Morgan on July 02 2013,1:01 pm

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NAMASTE, AND MY VASUKI LICK YOUR NOSE!

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