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Topic: My Personal Experiences With Death Energy
EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: Mar. 06 2013,12:52 pm

I think I had mentioned here (or else it was somewhere else) that I have had a lot of tests run on me in the last few weeks to a month and I was being screened for cancer. I think I called it that I do NOT have cancer. I was right. Cancer-free. I had a miscarriage. I already knew and I will spare you all the details but the scarring inside makes me a candidate for a hysterectomy. I said lets do it. I have 3 kids and I have now had 3 miscarriages. My body cannot handle another pregnancy. BUT... apparently 32 is too young in my docs eyes and there is no threat to my health even though I once, stupidly, said no leave me be when it was offered. I wanted to choke that old fart. He is a bible thumpin pro-lifer that always speaks of my "3 miracles" but never mentions how those 3 miracles almost killed me. So they have given me 5 years to either have another child or eventually have the hysterectomy. I found a new doc around here that's from the east coast (I'm from Jersey btw) and he said he will just tie my tubes and problem solved. Viola'! I don't fear Death but I do fear the inadequacy and ignorance of doctors. Particularly doctors who presume to think that I as host to another parasite would be a great thing whether I lived or died. Fuck that. There are enough people in the world who have no food, homes, jobs, etc. and I don't want to add great numbers to the population. In fact if nature had not intervened and crossed my every attempt to stay childless, I would still be childless. I don't regret having them because things happen for a reason in my mind and they mean the world to me, but common sense tells me I have had more than my share of fertility to leave my bloodline behind when I go.

So the shadows came for the baby. They were eating. They were eating away the death that would have awaited me and the baby should my body have accepted the fetus. I think the shadows also came to take the baby home. After the issue I won't speak of, the shadows went away and I knew what had happened. I am having the procedure done soon to ensure this never happens again. Before Saint Nancy died (we have family "saints" meaning the matriarchs and heads of the family houses) she told me I would give the Goddess (Earth) seven children. She was off by one unless I am missing something and can't help but shudder when I recall her words. Maybe my procedure won't work? Maybe she was just old but I will never forget St. Nancy telling me those words. I still speak with her now and again even though she died when I was pregnant with my first son. I will smell flowers and her perfume and it gets suddenly warm when she is around. My mother feels her too but refuses to commune with her or any of the spirits that pass through. She said that's my job now. I'm the one that speaks to the shadows, now. I don't mind it. Most people think I am either full of shit or crazy so I don't speak of it much. Saint Nancy spoke with the shadows, too. Now that she is long gone I guess they come to me. I regularly deliver messages from the other side to my family. It's only when one of the ancestors has a message for one of the family. Since one of my totems is a Raven I also bare the burden of messenger for my family. The "messages" only pertain to the well fair and prosperity of my bloodline. I'm proud to have this charge. It means to me that the ancestors have chosen me to guard our own through their guidance. This is something I take very seriously as did those who came before me and I won't desecrate my bloodline by abusing it by calling them to me. I pray to my ancestors but I dare not "call" for them because that is not how it works in our family. They come when they feel the need I think. That part I suppose is not for me to know. I just pass on messages from the Old Ones to those in the family that cannot "hear" the ancestors.

The reason I mentioned this is because I have had a few messages to deliver lately and I have been wishing for a way to ask something of my ancestors. Where is my message? Have they nothing to say to/for me? I know that is not how it works but yet I am human and wish to know things that are not meant for me to know right now, perhaps. The ancestors are stirring and I have heard whispering and all hours of the day and night and I could swear Saint Nancy is here just behind the veil. I can smell her perfume even now. She was here on my sons 10th b-day on Feb. 28. A lot of them were around that day but it is an auspicious day for the death energies and they rarely miss a birthday celebration which is a big deal in our family.

Sorry. While writing I had an epiphany if you will. I have to wander tonight and I think that will help make things clear. I am soon to be off to make arrangements for my absence tonight.

Amorte

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Morgan
Owned by Donn & Than


Posts: 9095
Joined: May 2004
Posted: Mar. 06 2013,3:44 pm

I know what it's like, that 'don't call us, we'll call you'.  DON'T BOTHER US WITH TRIVIAL CRAP, DAMMIT!  WE'RE BUSY, BUT IF IT'S LIFE OR DEATH, WE'LL BE THERE!

They are out of time, but still. . .if they were on call, they'd be carryin' pagers, ya know?

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NAMASTE, AND MY VASUKI LICK YOUR NOSE!

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: Mar. 13 2013,3:24 pm

That is how it feels! Don't call us, we will call you! I shouldn't be so pushy when I want something. Patience isn't my best virtue for sure! Sometimes it's hard to feel like there is no guide for me even though I know that isn't true.

I was reading through some of this and thought to myself that writing it down makes it sound WAY cooler than the reality. I get carried away when I write so it seems romanticized although it is all true. I like to write but I like being accurate even more.

This was an interesting week in my world. I got called out to a friends home about "disturbances" like your classic haunting type thing ie. footsteps when no one else is home, odd shadows, strange voices at night, that sort of thing. I was kinda thrilled! This friend that called is like extended family to me and even though she has called me for some silly things, in my opinion, I always take her seriously because she doesn't just call when things go bump in the night. Her family has a lot of interesting energies surrounding them but none of them are sensitive except the one (out of many) boys. I see him look around when I see or feel something checking things out. It's always interesting going to her house, their old one and the new one. They just moved into a new house so they are getting used to it at the moment and I reminded her that getting used to the sounds of a new house can take some time. It is still quite empty so sounds may be carrying. I spent hours listening to her and her <huge> family talk about their recent experiences. The entire time I was seeing more than shadows and hearing whispering. I already love her new house! She's a little unnerved since "something" is keeping her baby awake at night and the kids are a little freaked out (except the one boy). Honestly, I think the boy is sensitive and keeps his mouth shut. A tell tale sign of a true gifted sensitive is keeping it quiet at that age because you aren't sure either way what is happening. I have been through that and I think the boy is going through it, too. Anyway, my friend never usually speaks or asks for me to intervene but mostly for my opinion. Let's put it this way: she knows what I am but doesn't know what I am. Or she does but doesn't have the balls to ask too much. maybe she doesn't want to know is what her husband mentioned one night. He's on board, but too busy to look too far into anything like this.

So I found the house to be a little off level, too. Yes I carry a level with me in my bag o' crap. That can lead to that funhouse effect that the ghost reality TV shows are always referring to. I find that to be true after experimenting. So i asked to be left alone in the house for about an hour to do what I do without freaking her out. She was totally cooperative and I got winded there were so many levels to the house. The setup is a little odd. It's not your typical house layout and whoever built it (that info is still en route to my email hopefully) did a lot of interesting construction and it is mighty sound. So I ruled out plenty of outside factors even though I had been seeing and feeling things since before I walked through the door. Before I reached the porch I smelt cigarettes like someone had blown it in my face.

The lower level is the hotspot. One room upstairs feels so sad that I had a hard time keeping my composure which didn't matter since I was alone in the house. The shadows all walk downstairs or are seen around the flight that goes down to the lowest level. There's a bathroom right by that area that radiates "scared". The best moment (which is why I am adding it here) came when I was almost done. It was full dark by then and I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I called out and they stopped. They began slowly again and I called out in a friendly manner and they stopped again. I started to sing a children's nursery rhyme out of the blue and this child (androgynous) came into view on the main stairwell. I immediately felt cold and I got a "I'm lost" feeling. The eyes of the child were flat black. As simply as it was there, it was gone. I closed my eyes and prayed that if there were any lost souls here that He would come for them. I felt warm all of a sudden and I heard laughter and running and playing like children do. I know this sound very well. I felt a "pop" in the air and all went quiet. I opened my eyes and the house had become silent and dark. I called my friend home and she was eager to hear everything but I didn't tell her much. She wouldn't understand. All I did was pray. That doesn't mean he would hear me and come for anyone "lost". I don't think anyone there is lost actually. It's just the activity of children playing and introduce a new family that has children into the house and of course there will be curiosity on both levels.

I told her there wasn't anything to be afraid of and talked to the kids. I told them to keep a notebook of what and especially when things occur. She wanted the house cleansed which surprised me and I told her no problem but it was a dark moon and I told her just wait a few days so I am going over there tonight or tomorrow to cleanse the house and give it "formal" hello that there are new residents moving in here now. My friend liked that idea. I think it is a matter of getting to know each other since they are there anyway. Both the mortals and the spirits!

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: Mar. 26 2013,1:54 am

Oh it's been awhile! I had to read where I left off. I had finished the cleansing of my friends new house and since then she has become so interested in the activity around there. It was really exciting to hear her new encounters and we had a long talk about what may and may not be sharing her space with her family. She is now keeping a really awesome notebook complete with dates, times, and who experienced the "phenomenon". I was very impressed. She talks to the spirits now and feels much more comfortable in her new house and so does her family. Why I added this story to my experiences with death is because I think it links in to what I really am and do. My friend had called in the middle of the night (well prime time in my world) saying she heard footsteps and movement in her garage (which is one of the places where I felt a strong current). She was panicked as if she had an insect infestation or something. I told her just write it down and of course send the husband with a baseball bat to check for intruders just in case, but no one was there. The drawers on the husbands toolbox keeps opening random drawers and shutting others. Until then, the guy hadn't showed too much interest. I saw a trend around 3am when the most activity occurred and also at 11am. I think it is energy imprints following a familiar current from deep emotions that have left a mark so to say and play themselves out in the correct conditions. I honestly don't think she has "ghosts" as in the spirits of deceased individuals.

I also wanted to mention that recently I had a discussion with my husband where he revealed he had never had an experience with death. He had never been to a funeral, he doesn't have anyone in his living memory that he remembers passing away or grieving for. Not even a pet. I was a little shocked to be honest. Not even a pet? So i told him a few stories of experiences I have had which up until then he had never known. I don't talk about it much until prompted and he was equally shocked to discover the "Annie Mystery" as he calls it. He never knew the specifics but knew "something". He knows I practice witchcraft (for lack of a better term; I could be here a while for *that* conversation lol) which he participates in too but I have always kept my more secret and spiritually important and private activities to myself. I guided him through a meditation where he said he met a shadow far off in the distance and my husband described this with great detail, being a beach and looking into the distance (even though that happened during a pause in the guided meditation where he is to feel his surroundings). He said he was called "Light Worker" and the figured bowed and my husband returned the gesture. My husband said that then he felt as though a door had shut and was locked by Spirit. This is a meditation used by my covens to connect a distant part of the death energy to bring solace and communion. We call it the "Edge of the Beach" meditation. It helps when someone needs to connect to the other side for comfort when someone has passed away or simply feel a drop in that energy pool for education but not to cross a barrier that they are not prepared for. I didn't perform this for him to experience Azrael, just as a guide to touch the energy pool and contemplate what death means and how important it is to life on so many levels. I told him that my interpretation of that is that he is a healer by nature and I would agree the words Light Worker suit him. I suppose opposites attract since we are like two halves of the whole. I told him that he walks a different path and that is good. The doors to the darker places in the ether may not be his to travel at the moment but he has his own thresholds that he crosses. Mine are different and we balance each other out that way. I told him to leave the darker places to me since those doors are my hearts' home. I don't feel leaving him in the dark anymore would be good since he has not experienced loss. We have had a lot of interesting discussions lately since a close friends' father is in hospice and I wonder how my husband will take it when one of those very close to him passes away. I told him our conversations should continue and he should face his fears, of course. This is exciting to me in a way since he is anxious to talk more about death and the different personifications or facets of death energies. This of course is exciting to me too since I get to speak about my favorite subject in the world and also to someone I love. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own little world that I just assume people know what I am talking about and concerning my husband I think I found an area where I have been remiss in talking about my true experiences and opinions since his world is so different from mine. Now starts a fun time of discovery for my husband and I get to share my knowledge with him which I feel will bring us together on a whole new level spiritually, yet individually. A teacher is always a student at the same time... I forget who said that.

Amorte

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: April 23 2013,1:27 pm

I finally got to go to the cemetery before the snow hit. I was at my mothers and her house is a stones throw from the cemetery. I was hardly listening to her going on about something. She noticed me staring out the window at the cemetery and asked me if I was going up to the "boneyard". I said I wasn't but she gave me that look that means "I already know where you are going when you leave here". Mothers/parents always seem to know for some reason. Maybe it's in the blood.

Of course I was going up to the cemetery. It's been the only nice evening in weeks. So my normal ritual and I was sitting watching the sunset when I got this sudden panic feeling. I scanned around me even though I knew there was no one around. I waved at the security car guy when I drove in (they know me, they think I go and pick up trash, which I do, but they don't know I lay against the stones and trance out at all hours of the night) and I could have sworn I heard voices on the wind. Not uncommon since this is on the outskirts of the city and people live around here. The backside of the cemetery is almost silent from normal everyday sounds despite the neighborhood nearby. Then the trees went silent. The wind died. The birds quieted and flew off. The unseen sun (cloudy you know) slipped behind the mountain and the familiar chill fell over me and that smell I love filled me. It's like wet dirt and moldy flowers and yet that is not quite it. I can never describe it well. Anyway, I felt the sunset and almost missed my mark (there is an arch of sorts at my spot made by two dead (well deadish) trees, I use it as a threshold but it only seems to work at sunset). All my stuff was placed accordingly and I was pulled by my hood of my coat backwards. I was pissed. I vocalized a word that I usually only think and the feeling receded. I tried to block it out but it was right behind me as if waiting impatiently. I turned abruptly and said to a disturbance in the air that I was not done. I felt the words "hurry" and "trouble". I missed the time of threshold and lost my groove by that time so I impatiently asked the "air" what is wrong. Another disturbance in the air and I caught the unmistakable smell of blood. I have a very sensitive sense of smell, I think because I can't see very well. I packed up my stuff in my bag and by this time it was getting darker. I left my car there and asked the "air" where the trouble is. I took off in the direction of the blood smell before I got an answer. I found a young doe bleeding to death in a dark corner of the older part of the cemetery. The deer always hang out here because I think it must be peaceful for them to lay and graze. I sure do and I'm not a deer. The laying not the grazing :) . It whimpered and made a sad sound that just wrenched at my heart. I knew there was nothing that could be done. She was dead before I could approach her. The "air" stirred and the feeling disappeared. Poor thing was hit by a car, most likely on the front road since the yard is only 5mph. The roads are too twisty for more than that. So I went to tell the security car guy to call the animal control # and showed him what happened. He agreed it must have been a car on the front road to do that to the poor little thing. I learned that my own purposes are not always the most important things that need to be addressed at certain times and I should be more patient. There's nothing I could have done but still I feel a bit of guilt that I could not stop what I was doing to listen to intuition or the spirit that came with the message of trouble. I was excited to finally get back to the cemetery and it trumped my whole day having been distracted all day until it was time. I had to kill an hour at my mothers and couldn't even focus long enough to listen to her talk. So I learned that sometimes even if I have something planned there might be something else that is more important than my own fascinations and activities and that I should listen more instead of heading face first into whatever I feel I want to do next. Listening and patience aren't my strongest virtues but at least I can spot a fault when I find one.

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Leilah
Lady Death


Posts: 6081
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: April 24 2013,6:45 am

:rose:  :rose:  :rose:

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"Death stands above me whispering low, I know not what into my ear; Of His strange language all I know is, there is not a word of fear."

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: May 21 2013,1:34 pm

Well the hospital experience was an interesting one. Something happened to my daughter during surgery is what I think. Something happened to Morg and of course doctors never elaborate on the scary details when the worst is over. We know she stopped breathing several times but her heart never stopped. She never "died". That's all they would tell me. I'm empathic enough to pick up on the nervousness of the doctors and nurses, though.

Morg couldn't talk much since she had a tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy. She kept pointing and then she would smile and wave at something I couldn't see but wow did I feel something. That's how I know it wasn't just the anesthesia wearing off since this was the third day in hospital and it was mostly out of her system with her just getting antibiotics and ibuprofen. It was almost like I expected something to materialize any moment. But this experience wasn't for me.

Morg told me when she could speak a little that an old woman kept smiling and waving at her and that she had dreamed of this woman during the time she described herself as "watching her surgery". I mentioned she was really wanting to watch since she is completely enthralled by the medical world. I think what she is describing is a separation of body and spirit where she was able to watch her surgery. She described the tools they used and how her head was positioned. There is no way she would have known this prior or post surgery. She said the old woman told her everything would be ok and mom is waiting for her. My god was I waiting on her!

She waved a few times out of the blue after she was admitted and we were there for a while. I had been doing energy work with a special ally I have that takes the form of a maggot in my minds eye, to "eat away the pain". They were trying to give her morphine which I said absolutely not! She managed well with only ibuprofen for pain after I did that so I will dub that successful enough not to mention Morg's hard will. She would look off into the distance suddenly and smile, then whip her head around to check if I saw. Once during the third and final day in the hospital she asked me quietly if I could see the old woman. I said no but I knew someone was there. I wasn't surprised. I had woken to see a shadow at the end of her bed several times but never got more than a glimpse or disturbance in the air. I hear and smell more than I see although I see quite a bit. When Morg was awake and it happened she smiled and waved. There was one occasion where both of us heard a baby crying, terribly. The kind of sound that wrenches the soul of the sensitive. It had stopped and started several times and since we were in pediatrics it made sense that there would be a baby. I asked the nurse when she came in what was wrong with the baby next door since it's crying was so intense. She turned several shades of green and pale until she choked out, "Your daughter is the only child in the ward right now. A baby died last week in that room." She turned from me and never said another word to me good or bad and shift change came and we never saw that nurse again. The next nurse had a million questions about what we heard (the first nurse must have told) and had even brought in one of the volunteers to listen. They both got chills but never said much. I don't understand the fear but maybe these people were there when the baby was in the hospital in fact I think they must have otherwise why the interest you know. We were connected to the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) so it made even more sense. I felt the vibe of the NICU when we first got there. It's a hard to describe feeling in many ways.

So on to the kicker. I get Morg home and she is resting on the couch until something caught her eye from the china cabinet. She pointed and asked me to open it and bring her the picture of my grandparents. Her eyes went wide and she said quietly, "That's the old woman that kept waving at me and smiling. That's her only not so old. She was there when they thought I died". My grandmother (St. Nancy as we call her) has been dead since 2002 when I was pregnant with Hunter (my oldest son). Morg has no living memory of Grandma except this one picture that she has never taken much interest in. Now she sleeps with the picture under her pillow. I know it was her. She was there for me when Morg and I almost didn't make it when I had her. She's been there for me a few times. Our family saint is still looking over her own. That's what I feel. I very much feel that St. Nancy is at peace but in times of family crisis she is there.

Morg has shown signs of hypersensitivity to energy and the "unseen" ever since her surgery. The doctors may have dumbed it down for me so I didn't panic, but I think I know what happened now and it just may have kicked started or thrown some gas on the fire of Morg's own abilities, which I believe everyone possesses, but not all can recognize and use those abilities to their full potential. She's awoken to the world, my girl, and I think if properly nurtured she will find the hidden beauty within the darker and lighter sides of the natural world. She said she's not afraid anymore. "It just smelled too pretty in the in-between to be scared anymore", is how she ended the conversation. That shook my world because I know exactly what she means.

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Morgan
Owned by Donn & Than


Posts: 9095
Joined: May 2004
Posted: May 21 2013,3:32 pm

Oh wow!  Please homeschool that kid if you can.  Or if you can't keep her out of the system, make sure you call out the disinfo and keep them from corrupting her, if there's even any time left.  From my political research, the u.s. is on VERY borrowed time, and GOOD RIDDANCE!

(I cannot STAND most kids which as you know I generally call 'food products', crotch droppings, or else; but I have a feeling yours would be a rare exception.  I mean like, there are a couple of disruptive little bastiches two doors down, and it's like 'PUT 'EM ON THE ROTISSERIE ALREADY, WILL YA?!  I'LL TAKE A DRUMSTICK!)

Edited by Morgan on May 21 2013,3:42 pm

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NAMASTE, AND MY VASUKI LICK YOUR NOSE!

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Leilah
Lady Death


Posts: 6081
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: May 22 2013,4:00 am

Enchanted, it is apparent that there is a great deal of spiritual hyper-sensitivity in you family. At least on the female side. What a wonderful gift and what a GREAT story!  :rose:

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"Death stands above me whispering low, I know not what into my ear; Of His strange language all I know is, there is not a word of fear."

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EnchantedEther
Necromancer


Posts: 88
Joined: Feb. 2013
Posted: May 22 2013,1:32 pm

I have been thinking about taking her out of public school for a while now. I was considering it for both that are school age since I have a low opinion of public schools. This last school year that just ended Monday was really bad funding wise. They were lucky to have milk for lunch. If it weren't for parents volunteering it would have been chaos. I do Boy Scouts and volunteer in the office and Kindergarten (now that's a job I never want to have omg!), but I would rather keep them here and I am capable to home school. They would be more challenged and I could add what public school lacks which is most things!

Hey I'm babysitting a little brat that would be absolutely perfect with BBQ sauce! She's a chunky one so there's some for all!!  :laugh: Her mom has been "forgetting" to pay me so I deem that fair! lol She is such a pain in the ass. Cute, but a pain.

You know Leilah I have wondered why it is that gifts like these are passed down through family. I can think of only one man in my family (my Grandfather) that had any inkling of a gift. It wasn't strong but he would sometimes have precognitive dreams. It always made him very excited. My Grandparents were spiritualists, I guess since I can't think of a better term, meaning they attended seances regularly among other camps as they called it and would pray to certain christian saints for the purpose of banishing evil. I believe it was Michael they called on frequently but I don't remember. Just a wild guess since it sounds right. It's curious that most of the women who had any abilities were often institutionalized or diagnosed with some mental issue like hallucinations or in Great Grandma's case, dementia. I think that shows that society does not accept those who have extra sensory perception or what have you. Those who live outside of what the majority calls the norm (yeah describe normal, right?) are often ostracized and labeled nutcases. That's why I think we turn inward (well those of us wise enough to not say too much) so as not to leave ourselves vulnerable to society's prejudices or ignorance. Morgan has turned inward now. I remember when it first hit me that I should not speak to just anyone about what I experience because it could be taken the wrong way or simply not understood and then I'm heading for the padded room. I was scared as a kid that someone would think I was crazy.

I just had this talk with Morg. She said that she never wanted to say much before because not much happened but when it did she would get scared that something was wrong with her because she thought it may not be "normal". Now that she understands a little more and I told her of some of my more interesting experiences she is a little more at ease and comfortable with it. She agreed that it wasn't something she would tell her friends but she feels comfortable telling me. Sometimes she talks more intelligently than some of the adults in my life. It's a bit unnerving sometimes but I think it is a great thing that she is smart and knows when and when not to speak about something.

I'm still wondering if it carries through genes or if it is ingrained in us to accept it because there are a lot of us in the family that are sensitive or more, because we talk more freely amongst ourselves. I'm not too sure. I had thought once that my oldest would carry some gift and even though he is a little sensitive to energy, it is not as strong compared to what we woman experience. Well that will give me something to think about for a while! In the meantime, I'm gonna nurture her the best I can to her abilities. I'm no stranger behind the veil and I'll be damned if I let this go by the wayside.

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