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Topic: How Does Your Family Feel?, How do your nearest/dearest feel about your 'dark side'?
Maiken
High Necromancer


Posts: 219
Joined: June 2002
Posted: June 16 2002,2:07 pm

Being that I'm a necromancing newbie, not many of those close to me know about my new interest. I've been taking out some titles that get a few raised eyebrows (Your Guide to Cemetery Research; Talking About Death Won't Kill You, Death: The Next Stage of Growth, etc) and I plastered my desktop and "research binder" with my favorite dark pictures, which got me some questions (Why do you want Death pictures anyhow?) The only one I really spill all the beans to is my graveyard-hopping companion; the rest of my friends/family are really "in the dark." (Oddly enough, my Mom thinks there's nothing unusual about my desire to see/research graveyards, and has even offered to drive me to some! Go Mom!)

Who do you tell about your Necromancing side? How do you deal with the varied reactions of those around you? Has anyone in your life taken it unexpectedly well/poorly? Any sad stories with happy endings? (Always looking for more of those, hehe!) Did your sharing ever bring someone else around to the dark way of thinking, so to speak?

Also, let's hear from younger necromancers still living with their parents. Although I've attained my majority (I'm 18), I still live at home (I'll be going off to college in September--does anyone live in the Seattle/Olympia area? I've never been there and I don't know anybody! Ok, off-topic slip, sorries!) So how do those of you who still live with parents handle the ins and outs of that relationship when you're a necromancer?

I guess I haven't particularly found anyone that resonates with me on the d/Death stuff, at least, in person! But then, I must remember what a short time it's been! ^_^ Alrighty everybody, tell me about your dysfunctional families! (Remember the joke about the "Adult Children of Normal Parents" convention? lol)

Dark love,



--------------
--Maiken
Dying is a wild night and a new road. --Emily Dickinson


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Leilah
Lady Death


Posts: 6081
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: June 16 2002,3:05 pm

Hi Maiken;

We have discussed this at length somewhere here. I know there's a thread called "The Working Necromantic" on page 4 of this forum that discusses this at the workplace.

Personally, I feel that talking about what you are into is great. The more you talk about it, the more secure you become in your beliefs, and the more you encourage others to open up. EVERYONE has a story, but no one wants to be th first to speak.

As for those who bat an eye-lash, let them bat away, perhaps they may learn something. You're never to young to teach, or too old to learn :wink:

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"Death stands above me whispering low, I know not what into my ear; Of His strange language all I know is, there is not a word of fear."


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Sio
Azraelite


Posts: 694
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: June 16 2002,5:43 pm

Hi there Maiken:

Never, never, never, NEVER feel insecure, embarrassed, or ashamed about these things. All the raised eyebrows in the world are worth nothing to the wisdom you'll gain by opening your eyes to the truths about our existence.
This goes for the family as well. Fortunately, my own is supportive, if not actively pursuing the same as myself, but even if they weren't, in my eyes, they'd just have to deal with it. If they didn't like it, of course I'd be sensitive to that, but still...tough sh*t is what I say.

As an adult, I've not really run into any problems with people that I couldn't handle. I get the looks, and the snickers, and occasional comments but on the whole, life is good, and no one I am in regular contact with shows me any disrespect.
When I was a kid it was a bit different, but I came to terms with that through understanding the way society thinks, and learning that people are taught to dislike what we don't understand.
To combat that ignorance, I will FREELY discuss my lifestyle, and I *do get very positive responces. Most people want to know more. :rose:

--------------
O, not in cruelty, not in wrath,
The Reaper came that day;
'Twas an Angel visited the green earth,
And took the flowers away.
-- H.W. Longfellow


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danial
Necromancer


Posts: 128
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: June 16 2002,9:17 pm

I always found that if I ignored my interests I was depressed, bored and just not happy.  But, being myself keeps me alive and others, even if they don't quite get it, appreciate that I express what I think.   Most people respect someone being open about their  true beliefs.

And besides, shaking up someone's perceptions is good for them once in a while!  :jump:

--------------
I drank what?


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THE DARK ANGEL
Necrophile


Posts: 2275
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: June 16 2002,11:24 pm

All I can say is "I gotta be me!"......I've conformed to the way people thought I should be...but that has stopped.  I'm finally happy in my skin.  My family used to be scared sh*t.  Bottom line.  They thought I was losing my mind...walked on eggshells around me.  Granted I was dangerously depressed @ the time but now they see that I am the way I am and am happy.  My son said today, "Mom, it looks like it's always Halloween here."  Yes it IS always Halloween here.  Somehow butterflies, cheery pictures, bright lights, knee-slappin' music just isn't ME!  My X knows that I hold human bones in my hands from the crypt I visit.  I asked him to bring over a mag-light and he said, "Against my better judgement I brought it over for you."  Still a little cautious but you know, it's OK.  My entire collection of books are about death...the funeral business...embalming.....Azrael....I don't hide my passion.

I did find out two girls I work with are "dark."  Well, three.  They all feel the energy in a graveyard....and more.  

Love,
 darky

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KEEP IT DARK......
dark angel...~O~.....


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SpikedBeauty
Lost Soul


Posts: 50
Joined: June 2002
Posted: June 17 2002,12:04 am

Greetings,

My family well they never really had a problem with my darker side as only finding out till much older my moms family when she lived in New York had their own little dark side. I only wish now I got all the books my grandfather had from his father dying.  The only thing my parents never could relate was me being bi-sexual the rest came easy and my mother always has let me be who I am regardless.

Now my friends most that I attract have some dark side be it with magic or S&M. They always looked to me for going to cemeteries or haunted houses, etc. Only a few times have I come across people who did not understand mainly someone I was dating years back who was Christian, but smoked pot and was into obsucre music. He could not accept me being a witch nor my darker lifesytle even though he had one himself. No matter how much I really liked him I could not give up who or what I was for him. Just like with any man or female I date now if they can not accept me as a whole, witch, dark side, bi-sexual then it is just not worth getting into it with them because it only ends with sorrow and pain.

:kitty:

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"The snake that cannot slough its skin, perishes. Likewise spirits which are prevented from changing their opinion; they cease to be spirits.--Friedrich Nietzsche"


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Mofoquer
Beast of Xvim


Posts: 1254
Joined: June 2001
Posted: June 17 2002,12:23 am

Well, coming from a large family from different places, every each of them having a different culture as many different religions or things that could be called like that, it didn't had a problem concerning me at all. As a matter of fact, they do like my "dark side", and it's exactly the same and always will be for my short life. It's just the matter of the people that it's not in your inner circle that often doesn't undersatnd you. Don't care about theyr faces upon me.

But give them back a hearty smile and you'll see the great results as it happens often to me :hippy:

--------------
In a way, not way....

The sun, the sister | of the moon, from the south
Her right hand cast | over heaven's rim;
No knowledge she had | where her home should be,
The moon knew not | what might was his,
The stars knew not | where their stations were.


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Isa Black
Black Magician


Posts: 1118
Joined: Dec. 2001
Posted: June 17 2002,12:32 am

Quote
Quote: from danial on 9:17 pm on June 16, 2002
I always found that if I ignored my interests I was depressed, bored and just not happy.  But, being myself keeps me alive and others, even if they don't quite get it, appreciate that I express what I think.   Most people respect someone being open about their  true beliefs.

And besides, shaking up someone's perceptions is good for them once in a while!  :jump:


Hey Danial, that's exactly how I feel!
Sometimes I had stopped to think and ask myself "why am I like this?" and after a little thinking, the answer is always "because I just am, I'm HAPPY this way, and not any other way".

Answering Maiken's question:
I still live with my mom (I'm a minor hehe) and she's X-tian who grew up in family that is 100% skeptical. My grandfather and grandmother, despite the old age, are very skeptical. My mom was always taught that there are no such things as ghosts and spirits, just Gawd is true...
But my mom KNEW it wasn't like that, and only after she grew older is that she started accepting the many things from the spiritual realm she could feel.

My mom knows of my fascination with Death. She knows I love cemeteries and every now and then when I don't have money to pay a cab I ask her to drive me to my favorite cemetery (it's far away from home).
She understands that I'm seeking something that has been calling me.
The other day she asked me "what do you feel when you're in the cemetery?". Hehe, I was surprised, and I couldn't find words to describe it, but "it's home". ;)

I'm glad she understands me, and supports me too. :)

--------------
The grace of Death shall bless us all.


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Maiken
High Necromancer


Posts: 219
Joined: June 2002
Posted: June 17 2002,12:24 pm

Mofoquer, I definitely agree with you on the powerful properties of a good smile! It seems to just change the energy of everything around you.

Kudos to everyone on here for being true to yourself! Even though we live in a "land of freedom", being genuine and unique is such a difficult, yet necessary task, and those who manage it anyhow are truly heroic!
:)

Dark love,


--------------
--Maiken
Dying is a wild night and a new road. --Emily Dickinson


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Mofoquer
Beast of Xvim


Posts: 1254
Joined: June 2001
Posted: June 17 2002,6:37 pm

Quote
Quote: from Maiken on 1:24 pm on June 17, 2002
Mofoquer, I definitely agree with you on the powerful properties of a good smile! It seems to just change the energy of everything around you.

Kudos to everyone on here for being true to yourself! Even though we live in a "land of freedom", being genuine and unique is such a difficult, yet necessary task, and those who manage it anyhow are truly heroic!
:)

Dark love,

Thanks man, you know what I'm talking about :)

BTW: how much are those kudos un dollars?(just kidding :biggrin:)

--------------
In a way, not way....

The sun, the sister | of the moon, from the south
Her right hand cast | over heaven's rim;
No knowledge she had | where her home should be,
The moon knew not | what might was his,
The stars knew not | where their stations were.


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