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Topic: Your allegiance to Azrael, Why you feel an affiliation to the Angel of Death
Kathleen
Lost Soul


Posts: 27
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 01 2001,4:03 pm

Quote
Quote: from Columbine on 3:37 pm on Mar. 1, 2001
Things all started falling together, and when I first contacted Azrael (very casually, not in ritual) just to say "hello, are you there?" Ā Azrael replied "I have always been here, I am a part of you that nothing can ever take away." Ā I totally lost it; cried my eyes out I was so happy! Ā Here was someone who does on a grand scale, with souls, what I do with individual people's lives and perceptions, someone who I could always trust as a friend, a "big self" to my little self, a guide who isn't subject to my short temper and can help me keep from flying off the handle or worrying about what people think of me.

Ā 
Azrael is everything I wish I could ask of a friend, but I know better than to expect of a human.

That was incredibly moving and truly beautiful.

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Question reality!


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danial
Necromancer


Posts: 128
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 01 2001,8:47 pm

People labled me "odd" and "dark" and "different" and "depressive."  I realize now that most of it is an affinity to the death energy.   Things heard, felt and sensed all make sense here.  Many times growing up I felt as if I were speaking a foreign language and only very rarely would someone understand.  

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I drank what?

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Columbine
Mortal


Posts: 798
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 02 2001,11:40 am

Thank you, Kathleen!

Danial - I often get the "why are you depressed" thing too, despite the fact that I'm usually somewhere between unusually perky and obnoxiously cheerful.  I think it's like the way people nowadays associate minor keys with sadness - I don't know how it happened, but some of the most joyous, triumphant music I've ever heard is written in minor keys (Bach's Toccata & Fugue in D Minor is a great example that nearly everyone's heard).  People associate death and an overall dark aesthetic with sorrow, just because THEY think death is tragic.

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Sunspot Designs - beauty from the inside


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Leilah
Lady Death


Posts: 6081
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 02 2001,2:47 pm

How true, Columbine! They don't often understand the ecstasy of melancholy, nor the joy of sorrow!

People that resonate to Azrael seem to find the greatest joys lie in areas that most folks find "morbid". How unfortunate that they are missing out on one of life's (and death's) most beautiful esthetic.

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"Death stands above me whispering low, I know not what into my ear; Of His strange language all I know is, there is not a word of fear."


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Mike from Tallahasse
Lost Soul


Posts: 60
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 08 2001,4:09 pm

The first time I was conscious of feeling an affinity and love for Azrael was seeing the "dance of death" prints*, where he dragged off the wealthy and powerful, stole the loot from a miser (more dear to him than his own life!) and, in a scene that moved me to tears, helped a weary peasant ploughman toward a well-deserved rest, after a lifetime of weariness and pain. My own life had plenty of those things, so it was always reassuring to think death was available as an escape from the depression and misery.

(I must add that I've come around to believing that, in most cases, suicide is not a good idea... life can "turn around" in the most amazing ways.) Ā 

*(The series by Holbein, if I remember right)


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danial
Necromancer


Posts: 128
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 08 2001,10:30 pm

Leilah -
You put your finger on it.  The ecstasy of melancholy.   After a breathwork meditation a few years back,  I drew a spiral that represented the intense beauty of melancholy.  I remember that most folks, while respectful, looked on it as "sad" and lacking in power.  I find great power in melancholy.  Good music, too :)

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I drank what?

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Wulfgaest
Lost Soul


Posts: 7
Joined: Mar. 2001
Posted: Mar. 13 2001,2:07 am

Hmmmmm, Im not really sure what you mean by Azrael, if you mean "angel of death" as is thought of in Judao Christian myth...no, I have nothing to do with any of that stuff. However, if you mean, as i think you do, the personification of death, no matter what the paradigm...yes, I would say I have.  It started when i was 10, I started haveing dreams that would contain "memento mori" as it were. The dreams might be ordinary dreams, about ordinary things otherwise. However, there would be a corpse (or more than one) somewhere in the dream and sometimes the body would speak to me. Sometimes it was a person I knew who had died, sometimes it was not. In the beginning, these bodies would be in various states of decomposition but as I grew older they would be less and less corrupted, but I know from the look in their eyes that the person with whom I was dealing was no longer alive as we count living.  Needless to say, in the beginning this terrified me. I knew that this kind of thing was not "normal". As I grew older and I studied, I would try to remember what these souls were telling me and i eventually learned to converse with the dead in these dreams. I started studying religions and mythology and learned more about what this kind of experience means. Through the years I have grown a special reverence and respect for the dead and more particularly for my ancestors. I eventually began to practice the pre-Christian religion of my ancestors and this drew me further into my relationship with death and the dead, as Ancestor worship is a large part of my devotion. I find that my personal spirituality has been effected by this and the dreams have become more clear and I have even seen a couple dead folks while awake. I guess that I would have to say that my experiences with the dead have effected every corner of my life. It colours my view of life. To me, death is an old friend who I know will call on me one day, I am however not in a big hurry to see him. Friends are not to be feared, but respected and beloved.


Wulfgaest

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"we who have loved the stars so much, shall not fear the dark."


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Leilah
Lady Death


Posts: 6081
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 13 2001,7:37 pm

Welcome to our fold, Wulfgaest! And thank you for sharing your experience here. Please don't feel limited by the fact that some of us here refer to the Spirit of Death by a name that is more recognizable than some of the lesser known appellations. We do this because many folks recognize Death by this particular "name". As we all know, He is nameless and beyond the need for such things. However, we are human, and choose to call that which we revere something other than "It".

Again, welcome aboard! I hope that you will continue to contribute your insights on our forum and that you take the time to scope out the depths of our website as well.

Amorte!

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"Death stands above me whispering low, I know not what into my ear; Of His strange language all I know is, there is not a word of fear."


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Rilth
Lost Soul


Posts: 39
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 14 2001,9:44 am

Hmm... I think that maybe I still don't fit in here. I have not had any real experiences with the personified death or Azrael. All I know is that when people die I feel happy- but not in a sadistic way- and when I am near a deathscene or graveyard I feel an enormous feeling of magic and power.
If you can't experience this I must tell you that it is truly uplifting.

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If your life's that bad, then why not try death?

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Leilah
Lady Death


Posts: 6081
Joined: Feb. 2001
Posted: Mar. 14 2001,6:42 pm

I think you fit in here just fine, Rilth. In fact, you will find that most folks here react and feel as you do about the death energy. It is an invigorating force, to say the least. One, that many others choose not to expose themselves to simply out of fear and ignorance. But, for those of us who know its rapture, no words are necessary...Some resonate to the entity...some to the energy. It's the same thing in the end........

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"Death stands above me whispering low, I know not what into my ear; Of His strange language all I know is, there is not a word of fear."

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