Joined: Feb. 2001
|Posted: Feb. 25 2001,5:44 am
¬† For me, a fascination with death, in all forms, developed at a very young age. I was raised on horror films such as Friday the 13th, The Exorcist, The Omen, Nightmare on Elm Street, Puppet Master, Halloween, and hordes of others. I always noticed that when most people would cringe, or cower in fear... I would be sitting back grinning, a permanent smirk plastered on my face throughout the entire movie. Thus progressing into listening to Metal in my early teens, I was enveloped by even more death imagery. (just look at some of the album covers that the hardcore black and death metal bands have... PHENOMENAL)
¬† These factors, combined with a curiosity to know and understand the "paranormal" and "supernatural" led me down a path of esoteric exploration. (not to mention my predisposition to "see" and "sense" things others could not, for as long as I can remember) In the unending search for truth, and that "something" that I knew my soul was "devoid" of... I consumed book after book after book of "magick", "ritual", and religious traditions. On a hunt for more such tomes, back in 1996, I came across a little bookstore called "Moon Mystique"... (I know you remember the name, Leilah) ;) wherein I found a "Necromancy" section of about 5 bookshelves. I was immediately drawn to both "Our Name Is Melancholy" AND "The Necromantic Ritual Book". I first picked up the Ritual Book, feeling a "presence", or "energy" around it. I read a few passages, and was almost decided on making a purchase... but chose to keep looking anyhow... just in case. I immediately saw Melancholy, and picked it up, reading an entire page in about 30 seconds, flat... after reading the words, I felt a cold chill touch upon my brow and shoulders. I then closed my eyes, and the book simultaneously, pausing to meditate for but a brief moment. When I re-opened my eyes, I discovered that my entire left hand was black... covered front AND back. (now I've never found any kind of paper or book ink that could bleed THAT much THAT fast) Suffice it to say, I purchased the book immediately.
¬† The more I read of the book, the more I began to understand many of the "visions" I had as a child. The descriptions of the places between worlds... the way the words in the book seemed to speak to ME directly. I knew then without a shadow of a doubt, that this, indeed had been the one soul watching over me since I could remember.
¬† In late 1996, October 30th, around 10pm E.S.T. (to be exact) things were confirmed in a far greater clarity, and on a much higher level than I had ever experienced before. I was outside, and began feeling faint, ill for no explainable reason... within minutes of the nausea, my balance also left me... and my body fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes. <thud> Everything grew black... no tunnel of light, no pearly gates... just pure electrically charged, icy blackness. Until this blackness began to form... a voice ringing within my mind, though my ears were deaf to the world and everything around me. The inky darkness coiled around me like a liquid serpent, multiple faces manifesting within it, as graphite on black construction paper. The voice grew stronger, telling me that "This is the time you had foreseen... the time when your body lies lifeless... but yet it is not time to leave it forever. You have things to complete... you must finish what you have begun..." Those words, that feeling, and those faces... all make me certain I have seen a true Angel... a sovereign of solace, and prince of melancholy. What I saw, heard, and felt... I could not ignore... especially when I found out that I had been lying breathless, without a pulse, and completely... dead... for an entire eleven minutes. I have more encounters I have had with Azrael... though this, I believe was the most impacting, and potent in my life. For a time this memory was repressed, and unclear... until I delved deep into my subconscious, recently unearthing the "what happened" in the time I was gone from this world. I knew it then subconsciously... I know it now as fact.
(Edited by Amorteus Nocturne at 5:46 am on Feb. 25, 2001)
~Thorson Savage Lonewolf
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