Joined: July 2002
|Posted: May 22 2017,5:01 pm
phobic attacks.... I am so sick and tired of them. they never give me the slightest bit of warning
I don't know how to stop them and they never ever seem to let me go.... all of them are associated with memory loss and losing things and they are just terrifying. Why is God doing this to me? why does this have to be my specific curse? I am convinced I do this to myself through a subconscious mechanism that I am at a loss to understand; so much precious time wasted! All my life I've had to put up with this.... I can't just blow them off.... I dwell and obsess over each and every little thing I somehow lose track of, break out into an instantaneous soaking hot sweat and become terrified. I don't know how long my body and mind can take this without folding. no doctor, no medicine, no book, no technique has ever really helped. I only convince myself that they do after I've managed to end one, only to have another take its place. it's like they stand in line so each can fill the terror slot.
bright dark days
dark bright nights