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Topic: cemetery at  twilight, short gothic poem
Twilightmystic
Necromancer


Posts: 104
Joined: Nov. 2007
Posted: April 28 2011,6:50 pm

Within  the twilight the moon shining on  
the crypts i go fourth through the
fog and the mists.Ever pondering
the cemeteries moonlit glow not a
sound is heard except the gentle wind
that blows.Soft blades of grass carress
my bare feet naught that of sharp teeth
within the twilight the moon glows shining on long mausoleum rows.Azrael appears removing all my sorrow and tears.


sorrry i have not been online have been busy with workand the cemetery.

Edited by Twilightmystic on Jan. 10 2012,9:31 am

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Scott C.

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Morgan
Owned by Donn & Than


Posts: 9144
Joined: May 2004
Posted: April 29 2011,12:51 am

Nice, uber seductive image.  Makes me wish I was there.  My kind of paradise, probably shared by most of the board.  Edit it and put in poetic format.  Makes nice prose too, and that's what it seems like when you use the format you've got.  (Check syntax, too.)

Edited by Morgan on April 29 2011,12:05 pm

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NAMASTE, AND MY VASUKI LICK YOUR NOSE!

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Twilightmystic
Necromancer


Posts: 104
Joined: Nov. 2007
Posted: April 29 2011,6:55 pm

Thank You Morgan for your advice,i will take it seriously.AMORTE!!!

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Scott C.

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Twilightmystic
Necromancer


Posts: 104
Joined: Nov. 2007
Posted: Oct. 15 2011,9:16 pm

greetins: I want to apolgize to everyone for not posting ,have been very busy at work and at the cemetery.I am trying to get back to this poem to perfect it.Any help from the board and administrators would be welcomed.Scott                 AMORTE!!!

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Scott C.

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Kit
Necromancer


Posts: 144
Joined: Sep. 2008
Posted: Oct. 19 2011,11:33 am

TWILIGHT REFLECTIONS :
Within the twilight.
the moon shining on the crypts
i go forth through the fog and the mists.
Ever pondering the cemeteries moonlit glow
not a sound is heard except the gentle wind that blows.
Soft blades of grass caress my bare feet
naught that of sharp teeth.
within the twilight the moon glows
shining on long mausoleum rows.
Azrael Appears
removing all my sorrow and tears.

I like the poem, makes me think that perhaps I should pic up a creative endeavor again. Anyways, without changing anything but the formatting it has some flow. I will post any other suggestions if I come up with any.

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darkus markus
Sith Lord


Posts: 1101
Joined: July 2002
Posted: Oct. 24 2011,4:35 pm

i don't understand the part about the sharp teeth.

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bright dark days
dark bright nights

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Twilightmystic
Necromancer


Posts: 104
Joined: Nov. 2007
Posted: Oct. 26 2011,9:06 pm

Greetings.I get the point,yeah I am working that out going to change it.I guess at the time i was thinking of rough terraine.for some reason ,of  course i might have been drinking at the time,,but your right that is odd thank you for the input .Scott AMORTE!!!

Edited by Twilightmystic on Oct. 26 2011,9:19 pm

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Scott C.

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darkus markus
Sith Lord


Posts: 1101
Joined: July 2002
Posted: Oct. 31 2011,1:00 pm

Oh, dear no, Twilightmystic, You misundertake me -- i thought it was a way cool line.... very dark, hard core goth.  Please forgive me for misleading You into thinking that there was something wrong with it - now that i know what You meant, i see how it fits....

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bright dark days
dark bright nights

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Twilightmystic
Necromancer


Posts: 104
Joined: Nov. 2007
Posted: Nov. 03 2011,6:39 am

greetings.no problem ,i was wondering about naught of sharp teeth and figured the grass was soft on the bare feet . It was as if the dead were  welcoming me into there domaine ,instead of a red carpet it was a green one.AZRAEL my  patron entity or Angel appears or materializes before me removing all ths sorrow and tears that i felt though he is not mine i am his.This poem was dedicated not to me but to him.scott  AMORTE!!!

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Scott C.

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